What are you dragging into 2011?

Some days living life with lupus is like dragging a heavy sack behind you that is tied to your waist with a thick, unforgiving rope. Wherever you go, it goes. Other days it can feel as though you are carrying the sack right on your back and you can hardly stand upright. Then there are the days it feels as though there is a sack tied around each foot and you can barely shuffle your way around.

There are other things beside lupus or chronic illness that can weigh us down. Certain issues in our life can cause us a great amount of emotional heaviness and discomfort, making it difficult for us to move forward unhindered.

In 1998, shortly after more college and a career change, my husband found a job in South Central Pa. There were pros and cons to the job but we decided to take the leap. We wanted to put down roots in this beautiful area. Without any hesitation, we relocated from a declining city in New England to rural PA. The job did not end up working out. As the year came to a close it was very difficult for my husband to leave the distasteful experience behind him. Instead, he dragged the burden into the new year even though he had found a new, better job relatively fast.

I tried, unsuccessfully, to help him shift his focus from the negative to the positive for a long time. We could both see clearly that it had all worked out for the best. We were able to purchase our first home within less than a year of relocating from the city because of his new, better paying job. We would never have been able to do this with the first job.

Then as the next year came to a close, I watched him drag the hurt caused by his former job into the following year along with all the self-doubt it bred. Over the next couple of years he saw the track record that employer had for hiring and firing people. Eventually, with a lot of encouragement, support, and the truth he was able to let it go. In the end he had to make the choice. I could not do it for him. I could not make him come to terms with what had unjustly happened to him. I could not make the self-doubt go away.

This year I had to deal with an extremely painful personal situation. I was relentless trying to resolve the issue internally so that I would not keep dragging it around with me. I got support from friends and family. I prayed and read the bible. I had to forgive and keep “forgetting”.  I am in a better frame of mind as a result.

Are you getting ready to drag something into the new year that will hinder you or slow you down? Are you still trying to come to terms with living with lupus or chronic illness? While we may not be able to change the circumstance we find ourselves in, we can change our response to it. And our response is everything. Our response will dictate how we are affected by the situation-mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. A healthy response will also make it easier for us to be proactive and enact strategies for our benefit.

We have to cut the ropes that hold the heavy sacks on us emotionally, just like my husband had to do so many years ago and I had to do this year.  I pray you have the eyes to see,  the courage to act and the strength to “cut the ropes”.

May God bless you in 2011.  Leslie Rose K

Encouraging  body, soul, and spirit


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Brenda on December 29, 2010 at 8:35 AM

    Great post Leslie and awesome advice. It is so easy to keep dragging emotional sacks around with us, but we have to make the decision to cut it lose. I wish all a blessed New Year! I’m off to cut loose my emotional sacks that I tend to drag all around! Blessings-Brenda


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