Wallet Full of Failure

If you are going to carry a newspaper article in your wallet, it would most likely be of a hard-won victory or a loved one’s accomplishment. People have whole scrap books  boasting their successes.  I have yet to see one showing off their negative reviews.

Yet, we all have “failures” we keep track of.  If you deal with lupus or another autoimmune disease it is easy to just plain feel like a failure, regularly.

  • The house is not clean enough.
  • We cannot keep up with our family and friends.
  • We cannot work long hours.
  • We are incurring too many medical bills.

The list is endless.  We often hammer our failures, real or imagined, on the walls of our minds, with spikes.  In a sense, that is what Lucien Laurin did in the movie Secretariat. Every time he opened his wallet, he was reminded of his failures, by the bad reviews he  carried  with him.

I did this when it came to my crafts.  I have tried to sell handmade items on and off over the course of my adult life.  I always told people I was never really successful.   Just a couple of weeks ago, I was clearing out our file cabinet, and I found something that contradicted what I had convinced myself of.

I had to get an imaginary crowbar to pull the spike out that held the memory of my failure.  Basically, I had to eat my words.  Did it give me courage to try again? Absolutely.  Lucien had to come to grips with his memories of failure also.  In one race, he was catapulted into horse racing history when the horse he was training  won the Triple Crown.

In 1973,  Secretariat did not just win, he broke all records that stand to this day.  Here is the best part-in the movie, before the big race, Lucien pulled these reviews out of his wallet and burned them.  It said to me, whether the horse won or not, Lucien finally felt like a winner.  The past was behind him.

When I found  records showing I had made 144 doll quilt sets in a few short years, I  no longer felt like a  failure in that area.   I think we could all stand  to open our wallets or get out a crowbar and eliminate the reminders of failure, real and imagined,  we have been carrying around.   Let us  get on with life the best we can.  Focusing on the positive.  All the things we can do.  All the things we do, do.  Not the things that are out of our control.

May you be richly blessed…Leslie Rose K

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The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude. -William James


4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Brenda on November 2, 2011 at 5:10 PM

    Very interesting post Leslie! I enjoyed reading it and it was a post that made me go hummmmm…I think we can all relate to our own failures with or without an illness, but we really need to focus on the success of our lives instead as well as our many blessings. Thanks for this awesome post to make us think!!


    • HI Brenda, I am glad you were blessed by this post. I have to remind myself of these things. It is so easy to shift our focus in the wrong direction. It is all a learning experience, isn’t it? Thanks for your encouraging words.


  2. Posted by lupusadventurer on November 3, 2011 at 11:05 PM

    I loved that movie! My husband watched it with me and we thoroughly enjoyed the human interest (and horse interest) story. I matters most how we end, not so much how many times we stumble learning to be ready to get our eyes off of our past failures. Thanks for your post, i really enjoyed it.


    • Yes, it was a great movie. Penny was one determined woman. You are right, these things are not done over night. Sometimes we think we put something behind us only to discover we have to do it again. Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks.


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