Lupus and the lost dream

Injury on the field caused the college student to lose his life-long dream of playing football. Instead of accepting the news he could no longer play, he went on (what I consider to be) a suicide mission by playing again. The doctor seems to agree with me, because he strongly rebuked his student for his foolishness.

There in the hospital room, the student poured his heart out to his professor.   He felt there was nothing left without football.   It was all he knew, it identified him to his very core. Now, he was lost. Devastated.  He accused the doctor of not being able to understand the loss of his dream.

But on the contrary, Dr. Daniel Pierce, a character in the new TV series Perception, understood exactly what it was like to lose your dream, having lost his to  schizophrenia.  The young man wanted to know what he did in response to his tremendous loss. The answer was simple yet profound. It is what many of us have had to do because lupus or another autoimmune disease has changed the course of our lives.

I know this is TV, but it is real life too. I am sure you can think of dreams and aspirations you have had that now feel out of reach. Perhaps they are. Perhaps you have had to chart a new course. I lost a dream before I even knew lupus was the cause. I lost the ability to bear more children after carrying one beautiful, precious daughter. It was heartbreaking for me and my family. My daughter did not always like being the only child. I often thought of her future as an adult without siblings.

What dream or dreams have you lost? Dr. Pierce would say to us what he said to his heartbroken student. “The only way to go on is to find a new dream.”

Food for the Hungry

I poured myself into the child I had. I coordinated an Adopt a Youth Prayer Ministry for 10 years.  As a family, we started sponsoring a girl in Rwanda through Food for the Hungry.  As each girl grows up, or is no longer in the program, we get a new one. It is  rewarding to know you are  impacting someones life permanently for the better.  I found a new dream, and our family found a new dream.

I also had another choice to make. Would I let bitterness and resentment take over, or acceptance and peace? I chose the second option. Does it mean there is no sadness in my heart? No. There is sadness, as I often think of my two children that are not here with us. There is peace, in that I know I will see them one day.

I would like to encourage you to find a new dream if you have lost one to illness. I would also like to remind you about the book Coping with Lupus by Dr. Phillips. The last third of his book deals with so many issues like this. We will continue to discuss some of them in the future.

As for our college student, his dream does not have to be a total loss. He could become a football coach, inspiring, protecting from injury and encouraging, other young men. So, even though it may look as though all is lost, it may not be.

I pray God will guide you, and illuminate the path before you in this area.

Many blessings. Leslie Rose K

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4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Brenda on September 10, 2012 at 10:00 AM

    My Lupus came later in life so I don’t really feel like I missed out or lost any dreams because of it. I did however had to give up a much loved job becuase of the Lupus and as much as I miss that job I know that I am right where I am supposed to be. God always shows me the way when I let him. Thanks for another great post Leslie. Your posts are always thought provoking!


  2. Like you, it breaks my heart when I hear of anyone who feels life is over because the dreams must change. If I could do one thing with my own illness experience, it would be to change that for everyone (including the times I fall backward into my own sorrows.)

    You do a great service here both in the emotional sense and in offering practical information.

    Thank you for your courageousness in sharing your life.



    • Thank you for your encouraging words. They help push me forward to continue to share with others. I feel that if we keep sharing a positive message, over time it will begin to really bring change. Many blessings to you as you pour out of yourself to others as well.


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